You don’t need to be everything, and everything you don’t need to be: Nothing is so worth it
I have been feeling exhausted this week, constantly, for five working days. Showing up at work was merely to fulfill the attendance report, while my mind wandered elsewhere. I have been feeling steadily sad, unneeded, unwanted. Should I just leave? They don’t need me anyway. I only come as a burden, don’t I? Passing through the days, isolating myself in a big room all by myself, I feel the walls keep pestering me to realize that I am alone, will always be alone, and nobody wants me. What is my presence even doing here? Just producing yet another round of emissions from the electricity used for lights and air conditioning. Just leaving a carbon footprint, yet for what purpose? If I leave, everything will keep going, right? Even as I write this conclusion-less text, my mind is still packed and chaotic with the thought: I cannot do that; I’m not needed. Should I just leave? I grew up in an environment where I had to excel at everything I did. They believed I could, therefore I had...
