Records of my summer days

Have you ever trapped in a situation where you feel like everything in your life is a scam? Even yourself and every achievements you have achieved are also scams? You perceive every good things are too good to happen in your life and all are caused by external forces, although some people told you those are rewards from your hard work. Not a mere luck. It is a truly painful situation, because you cannot even recognize yourself and your true ability. There are several times I got called as that "multi-talented" kid. Some assume whatever I do will always have good results. I can do anything, they assume. You can be anything you want, they assume. The "high-achiever" kid. I once got told I have a lucky and happy life because I had never experience failure. I had explain I have experienced one, and got debunked right away because the failure I experienced is NOT as bad, hence, invalid. What is a failure then? How devastated should I become to make what I consider a

Google defines trust as firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.  Consciously or unconsciously, most of us move and work based on our trust. If we trust a guide or a direction, we move, and we work. Hence, a doubt can be the source of a stop, a pause, or even a static condition.  If we compare it to a machine, trust is the oil that affects the smoothness of the machine's movement and its working performance. The challenge is that trust cannot easily be bought in minimarkets or random automotive tenants it should be earned genuinely.  You cannot force people to trust you. One should show their ability, achievement, action, manner, and any other physical movement that can work as proof to earn people's trust. That is why it is so magical, at least for me, when someone trusts me so much over something important in the professional world.  Based on my observation, once trust is earned, one can get the bigger price, with almost the same va

They are running, while I can only walk. I had to re-orient my future plan 2 years ago. The long-term dream of working in the same line as my hobby was all broken into pieces as soon as I decided to leave the job I had. Jealousy ate all my thoughts as I found out most people around me already landed on their first job, while I felt like I have to go a long way back to square one: re-orient my plan. The first few months of re-entering the world I would not believe I truly have entered again was hard. The fact that I have to move slower than others was devastating. While I know for sure all those updates on social media were only intended to share one’s story of the day, with no intention to show off, I got myself in a cage of hatred, anger, and jealousy. I hate myself for not making it look as cool as others, making money, being independent financially, being a career woman, running a business smoothly, and many more. I hate myself for once again having to be trapped with the same is

Laugh Box (Noun)            (1) Something which is utilized to make people laugh      (2) A box full of funny jokes      (3) A box that can tickle your stomach because of the jokes it has See also the definition for: my laugh box My laugh box (Noun)       (1) a person      (2) someone who always makes me laugh      (3) someone who always makes me smile despite the sometimes-painful acts      (4) someone I cannot hate or truly mad at      (5) someone source's of laugh My laugh box is you.

You are everywhere, yet no one notices you. When I take a random seat in a public space, I start to notice one thing: I am just an extra in numerous people's life. If I were in a movie where I am not the main character, I am just that random passer-by or that stranger who gets passed by the main characters as they move somewhere. An extra whose purpose is to make that one scene in a movie looks good in terms of composition or make that one scene mimic reality. An extra has crossed a million pathways of people. Extras would be just that character in a background that audiences scarcely notice. Rarely do people recognize their existence, let alone their identity, aside from those they have notified beforehand. Extras can be found everywhere, yet their repetitious appearance is rarely noticed. Is it a bad thing to be an extra? No. At some moments in life, it is a blessing to be unnoticed. It is a fortune in a lifetime to have a chance to stay hidden behind the curtains or be a blurred

As the night breeze approached me, I looked up into the sky and saw the city lights from skyscrapers that surround the shelter where I stood. I always love seeing the city skyline at night, although it still thrills every time seeing them since it means I am still far from my home. Yet, here I am a few hours before the day changes its date, and that magnificent view is still right before my eyes. I am still in an unknown place I had never visited before with people I do not even know. They say that is adulting--spending your day at work, making money, paying taxes, and traveling by yourself. Basically, going around places by yourself. They say that is what it means to grow up. If adulting this sucks, why would kids await this moment so much? If adulting means we have to get used to being and enduring everything alone, why would kids await this moment so much? There come the night thoughts while enjoying music with the bus' announcement voice in the background as I am on my