Lesson 4: Be Curious

I am not good at socialising. I am not a convo starter, nor am I the one who keeps them alive. I have been complained about many times by people for this poor skill I have. It is a fundamental life skill to survive, yet I am struggling 90% of the time to do it.

Due to current circumstances that force me to survive at any cost, I began to observe people on how they befriend others. I need that to survive.

I initially thought only those with attractive looks would get friends, lol—unfortunately, I don’t have that. However, after months of observing, I realised that beauty is not what makes the convo last; it’s curiosity. And it's also something that makes the convo start in several circumstances, don’t you think? Even for attractive people, we begin the conversation because we are curious about them.

As simple as how was your day? Or how are you? Or even the most basic one, what’s your name?

That’s how a conversation begins. 

And staying curious will make it last even longer. What are you doing? What makes you happy today? So how is it today? How was your holiday? Keep being curious.

I get to reflect that by being curious—unconsciously, or maybe consciously—we get people to slowly open up, and then make them feel appreciated. 

Don’t we feel happy when our friend asks us about our hobby? More or less, that would be a similar feeling that people get when we ask them some questions about their life.

By being curious, you do not need to be critical. You are not in an academic conference or symposium that requires you to ask presenters with a deep understanding of certain topics. Just keep asking simple things, but remember not to cross the privacy line.

How are you?

How was your day?

What’s your name?

Just be curious about others, huh?